Damn you Potter
by antlerslilies
Summary: "But as much she loved Hogwarts and the chaos inside, she liked a quiet place to think too. [...] The untidy black hair, his hazel eyes... Lily didn't seemed to think on anything else."


Disclaimer: all of this belongs to J.K Rowling nothing is mine

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Lily loved autumn. But especially the first days of autumn. She liked the cool breeze in the late afternoon after a heat day. The perfect transition between the hot summer and the cool winter. She liked the leafs going caramel, red, brown and shades in between till they fall off their trees, she loved see small animals hurrying up to catch some food to stock before the snow fall off and paint everything in tons of white till mind February, at least. But Lily liked the beginning of autumn better because this meant Hogwarts after the usual excitement of first weeks. The mornings in which first years would still be lost and she'd help them as much as she could, being a prefect or not Lily always helped the newest kids. She knew at firsthand what was being in a new place, away from home and being lost. She was given the prefect badge this year though so was actually her job help the kids.

Lily smiled at herself, she was doing a pretty decent job until now. But as much she loved Hogwarts and the chaos inside, she liked a quiet place to think too. And that's why she liked the begging of autumn, most of students were inside the castle. Even though the sky was most cloudless and the gold sunset was warm the cold breeze discouraged the majority of student body being outside in late afternoon.

But if she was being honest with herself she liked autumn because matched her auburn hair, the tons of leaves discarded around a tree made she felt like part of nature. Red, caramel, _hazel._

She sighed and sat down leaning her back against a tree, opened her bag and pulled a book hoping having a quiet few moments of reading before had back when the sun light was weak enough. She read the same page once, twice, thrice after gave up and stared ahead without focus on anything really. It was happening a lot these times it seemed.

She could only drop the subject with Sev for so long and it was almost unbearable nowadays, she could avoid _him_ in common room, classes and meals on the great hall, but she couldn't avoid her own thoughts though. _Dammit Potter._

He had asked her out the last hogsmead weekend in fourth year, but she had refused right straight. And he didn't seemed to mind, not at her at least.

She sighed again and thought what the bloody hell she was doing with her life.

She couldn't get _why_ he was so unbearable while she was around. She knew he didn't act that way when he was alone or with his friends. And this was not because Alice told her _repeatedly_ times. But because she _saw_. She wasn't spying or anything, but maybe she was staring at _him_ too much to be healthy (but not too much to him notice and screw up things).

The untidy black hair, his hazel eyes... Lily didn't seemed to think on anything else. Why he has to be a prick around her? Just the other day she saw him helping these third years with a particular difficult essay Mcgonagall had asked.

 _She was at library searching for a transfiguration book when she saw his unmistakable hair in her direction, she turned around hoping to exit the shelves without being noticed but stopped when he passed her and sit down with three boys, his back turned to her. He mustn't noticed or otherwise he would make a scene to talk to her._

 _\- So… professor Mcgonagall told me you lot need help with transfiguration – He leaned in the chair and stretched his arms around his head and Lily could almost seem that stupid grin (she cursed cursed herself for this thought) – what can I do for you?_

Lily swore she didn't want to watch that, but something in the way he seemed genuinely concerned about helping those boys made her heart beat faster. As a result she spent too much time looking for a book that was actually in front of her nose. She didn't know how much time he spent there, as she needed to work out her things, but she saw Potter and these three boys repeatedly days at the same table that week. The four of them always with their nose on books and talking quietly.

Lily wished he was easy as Remus to talk. As a result of the prefect badge they spent enjoyable evenings together on patrol. Yes, Remus was one of Potter's best friend but didn't seem to share the same taste for troublemaking, well not as much as Potter and Black anyway. And being friends with Remus was, almost like to know the real Potter. Just in the beginning of the term he was telling her how Potter was concerned about his health, a sensitive topic that Remus didn't like to touch… never.

 _\- You know sometimes I think pron..James is the mother of our little group – Remus chuckled – Can you believe the bloke had the audacity to make the house elves cook chicken noddle when I returned from the hospital wing last night? I mean I know my health isn't exactly… - Remus seemed to think a moment before say something – good … but I just sneezed for Merlin's sake._

 _\- You know if it wasn't you telling me I wouldn't believe – Lily saw Remus_ _frown_ _– I mean Potter is always showing off or getting in some trouble with Black that is actually a nice surprise he cared for… other people than himself._

 _\- I supposed I can't blame you for think like you think but … James isn't like that… the vast majority of times anyway he… is actually a good person and loyal friend_

 _\- That's hard so see as he is always hexing people or talking about how good he is at quidditch_

 _\- I know he has his flaws but believe me you wouldn't know as he always make fool of himself every time…._

But as Remus was finishing his thought some couple ran to a broom closet and they had to take actions.

And just the other night he was telling her that they were all concerned about Sirius Black. His pureblood maniac parents were being extremely difficult towards him lately. Lily didn't knew the background but it seemed that the entire Black family was Slytherin and pureblood manic, just Sirius was a Gryffindor and this was causing a major breakdown in his family for the past years.

 _\- He try to not show or anything but I know that he cares, a lot – Remus showed be extremely serious about this subject._

 _\- Well I imagine with his brother being a slytherin it's not helping at all_

 _\- It certain it isn't, I'm glad he has James though_

 _\- What do you mean?_

 _\- He considered James his brother and… to be fair James kind of took the whole of a brother-friend Sirius never had – Remus waited before talking again – or the brother Sirius had before this pureblood mania._

 _\- I though you lot were all best friends – Lily didn't seemed confuse, but curious about these boys._

 _\- Oh we are – and for the first time in the night Remus smiled – we definitely are but James and Sirius took to a new whole level, Sirius spent almost all summer with the Potters, he even travel to Belgium with them - He_ _chuckled_ _and Lily couldn't imagine what would be traveling with Potter and Black, Mrs. and Mr. Potter should've worked out a lot._

 _\- And this doesn't bother you? or Pettigrew?_

 _\- No, I liked to spent my summer in home with my family and Peter has a lot of parents is America so he kinda travel there every summer_

 _\- I meant the brother thing – Lily laughed_

 _\- Oh this… - It was dark but Lily could swore Remus blushed – No, after all the Sirius have the most troublesome family. I'm happy the Potters are taking care of him. James especially is very concern. Mrs. Black almost disowned Sirius when Regulus told her that Sirius was talking with a Ravenclaw muggleborn – and this time Remus laughed – I wonder what she would do if she found out he was snogging the brains out of her_

 _Lily chuckled and Remus recompose himself_

 _\- I'm sorry Lily this was a bit rude to talking about a girl_

 _\- Oh that's alright… - Lily giggled - I guess_

 _\- But back to the topic we are all very concern, but James and his parents are doing everything to cheer up Sirius… and I know Sirius is very grateful for that_

 _\- Potter is surprising sometimes… I wonder why he is always walking up and down like he owns… - Lily couldn't end her thought after what Remus told her - for what you talk he seems a genuinely nice person_

 _\- Well you know I'm biased but I really couldn't ask for a better friend and – Remus waited again, he seemed to be choosing the best words – the_ _Potters_ _are an important and respectable family in the wizard world and they don't compactue with the current political situation, let alone the blood nonsense thing and Sirius is a Black…_

 _Lily stared Remus waiting for him to continue_

 _\- And the entire Black family is involved with these things…_

 _\- So the reason for his family and he are fighting is because Sirius don't quite agree with them? – Suddenly the reckless Sirius seemed in much better light in her mind._

 _\- Or he doesn't quite disagree, he despise. He despise everything. James too. Well we all despise but Sirius is standing up against his family and I think that counts a lot. And the Potters are giving him the_ _apoio_ _he needs_

Lily concentrated at her surround again, the cool breeze made her shiver and she thought that these quiet days alone wouldn't last, maybe just a week or so before she being trapped in the castle for the next months, but as she concentrate that stupid grin popped out her thoughts again. Damn you Potter.

And she realized that if he wasn't so unbearable around her. Maybe _she_ would ask him out.

Lily didn't want to pay so much attention at him, but he was like magnetic. She always turned her head when he walked the room, usually laughing at something his friends said. She _always_ complained that he showing off but if she was being honest he had a point, really. He was good looking, _extremely_ good looking actually, his black hair, hazel eyes, fit body. Just the thought made Lily blush. And as much Severus like to say he didn't was _that_ good in quidditch she always thought he was rather good, maybe the best in Gryffindor team and that meant a lot. And in top of it is that he was a surprising good student, the professors liked him even though he was one of biggest troublesome in Hogwarts nowadays and that was to say a something. More than once she caught Mcgonagall discrete grinning at him when he hit the right spell in a rather difficult task. And the only reason he didn't participate the bloody Slughorn club was because he didn't want to. Almost every meeting she saw the professor inviting him but he never showed up, much to Slughorn dismay. It was unfair really. Potter did seemed to be good in everything and Lily would be lying if she said she wasn't a _bit_ jealous. How did he manage to be a top student, a quidditch star and a troublemaker that professors actually liked she didn't know. Even his loyal partner Sirius Black failed in one those things, quidditch, and more than once she heard Potter making fun of it.

And discovering that he was against the pureblood culture and was standing up to protect the muggledborns meaning a lot to her. Especially with her (ex?) best friend hanging out more and more with wannabe death-eaters.

But of course he had to be a prick too and Lily couldn't stand.

Yes she had a crush on him for years and maybes she fancied him a bit (or a lot). But if one thing Lily liked to be fair. She couldn't accept Potter hexing students in corridors just for the fun of it, even if it was a slytherin. She always rolled her eyes at him and that stupid snitch. He wasn't even a seeker for fuck's sake the only reason to keep that gold ball around him it was to showing off, not to mention his ridiculously obsession with his hair, always messing to look like he stepped out a broom. And of course what bothered her the most: _Severus_ , he was her best friend (or used to be she didn't know what was happening with him) but she _still_ cared for him. Her friends didn't know why she continued hanging out with him, with all the people Sev started to talk the past years and Lily was also aware the _shitty_ excuses she was making in other to continue talking with him. But she couldn't bear Potter hexing Severus, bullying him in front of everyone. Of course Black was always helping him, but she knew that was Potter that really hated Severus.

And Severus hate him back, but she didn't expect anything different really. What actually bothered her the most was the fixation Severus seemed to have about Potter and his friends. And that's why she liked to be alone nowadays. Of course she liked the company of her friends, but none of them knew her like Sev, well like Severus used to know her anyway. Severus spent most of their time together talking about the hatred he feel about Potter than actually caring about her. The Sev she knew, that was her brother, cared about her nowadays their talk was all about his wannabe death eaters friends or Potter. Severus even come with an absurd theory that Remus was a werewolf. She didn't found this amusing, not at least. Because Remus was a good friend, a sweet person and competent wizard but happened to have poor health. And even if he was a werewolf… she, Severus or anyone for that matters, had nothing with it.

It was infuriating she missed her brother Severus but somehow it seemed she had lost him completely… just like her actual sister.

And this was one more motive to envy Potter. He and his friends were inseparable. She wished she had a relationship like that. Potter really had everything.

And just out her though he appeared run like his life depends on it a few meters ahead of her. He was with his gang of course, Black was shouting something to him laughing so much that even Lily couldn't help but laugh too. Remus and Pettigrew were near, smiling too. As a prefect she knew she shouldn't let that four boys run like that in middle of the ground but Lily continue to smile to herself _boys will always be growing up children_.

Potter seemed to realize she was staring and approach her with the most infuriating (and lovely) grin passed his hands through his hair

\- Alright Evans?

Lily rolled her eyes as usual but had to bit inside her cheek to avoid her smile get bigger to him.

Not only he had the most absolutely smile, but was also flushed of running, and had his shirt rolled up in his arms. _Extremely_ good looking indeed.

\- Alright Potter?

He smiled only grew bigger and Lily couldn't avoid the butterflies at her stomach. Damn you Potter.

\- Come on prongs are you gonna come back or what? – Sirius shouted

\- Oh you prat can't you see I'm…

Before he finished Pettigrew jumped in his back making the two falling on the ground lifting up the dead caramel leaves.

\- Wormy! What the bloody hell!

He didn't sound angry though and was laughing the whole time. Lily thought it was better leave before Potter being just much adorable

Maybe someday she would confront her butterflies, today she just didn't let him know the effect he had at her. _Damn you Potter._

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 ** _A/N: So this is my first attempt to write a jily fic... What you guys think? I have this headcanon (and I'm pretty sure J.k Rowling said herself but I couldn't find for the life of me) that Lily already fancied James in the lake incident™ scene. So I hope you all like!_**

 ** _Thanks for reading!_**

 ** _xx_**


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